Every child and young person will respond differently to experiences of child sexual abuse.

While there are some potential physical, emotional or behavioural indicators, not all children and young people will display obvious signs.

Often children and young people will express and communicate how they are feeling through their behaviour, as they may not have an understanding or the words to fully describe what they are experiencing.  

Emotional or behavioural signs or changes may include:

• depression, anxiety and mood changes, including social withdrawal and dissociation (where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity)

• feeling jumpy, nervous, agitated and easily startled

• difficulty regulating emotions – rapid, sometimes exaggerated changes in mood where strong emotions or feelings occur such as uncontrollable laughter or crying

• difficulty concentrating or learning new information

• change in academic performance

• resistance to going to school or participating in a usual activity (e.g. sport practice).

• trouble falling or staying asleep, sleep disturbances, nightmares

• generalised fear and anxiety – a persistent feeling that they are not safe

• difficulty building trusting relationships

• difficulty handling and coping with change

• substance use or misuse, self harm or disordered eating

• sense of helplessness, hopelessness and/or presenting a negative world view

• significant or extreme changes in the way they dress or their appearance

• change in general behaviour – seeming ‘out of sorts’

• over-compliance and eagerness to please

• fear and avoidance of certain people and places

• self-harm or suicidal ideation

• presenting as everything is ok

• no observable behaviour changes

• asserting that they are ok

• acting as if nothing has happened

• stating that they can deal with it on their own.

Physical signs of child sexual abuse may include:

• headaches

• stomach aches

• fatigue

• bed-wetting

• change in appetite and/or weight loss

• nightmares and/or sleep disturbances

• bruises on soft parts of the body, like buttocks or thighs

• changes in the genital areas, such as redness, swelling, or discharge

• pain or burning when going to the toilet.

You may have reason to believe or suspect a child or young person has experienced child sexual abuse. This could be because you have noticed physical or behavioural signs, they may have said something unusual, someone may have told you about their concerns, or there is reason to believe they have had contact with an alleged or known perpetrator.

It can be difficult for a child or young person to talk to their parents or caregivers about the abuse they have experienced. Perpetrators put a lot of time and effort into ensuring the child or young person feels that they must keep the abuse a secret.

It is important to understand some of the reasons why a child or young person may find it hard to talk to you about the abuse:

• Unaware that they are being groomed or experiencing abuse.

• They feel worried, guilty or ashamed about sharing what has happened with other people.

• They think they will be in trouble.

• The perpetrator has told them not to tell anyone or used strategies and threats to make them feel afraid or feel responsible for the abuse.  

• The perpetrator has manipulated them into believing that they are in a caring relationship and do not want the perpetrator to get in trouble.

• They think no one will believe them, or are concerned about how others will view them.

• They have fears for themselves or their family.

• They have fears that the perpetrator will share images or recordings that have been taken of the abuse.

• Blame themselves for getting involved in the situation.

If you notice a change in your child’s behaviour or sense that they do not seem quite like themselves, it is important as a parent or caregiver to create opportunities for open conversations that support them to talk about what is happening for them. Make it clear that your support is unconditional and not dependent upon anything they may tell you.

Approaches will differ depending on the child and young person, their age, communication preferences and the capacity of the parent or caregiver.

Starting conversation with open-ended questions:

Where possible, try and open the conversion within a calm, safe and comfortable environment for the child or young person.

Create opportunities for the child or young person to talk about about how they are feeling and what is happening in their life. Depending on the child or young person, consider open-ended questions that allows them more space and time to talk. For example:

• What was one thing that you enjoyed doing today?

• What was one thing that was challenging today?

• What was one thing that made you sad today?

• You seemed quiet today, is there anything that happened that made you feel sad or worried?

Some children and young people may benefit from specific prompts and questions, depending on their developmental age and stage. However, asking too many direct questions about child sexual abuse and specific perpetrators can sometimes risk a child or young person withdrawing from a conversation.

Activities such as playing, drawing or engaging in movement can help a child or young person with emotional regulation and may assist in both verbal and non-verbal disclosures. For example:

• Explain that 'Sometimes we feel things in our bodies, but we are not sure what they are or what they mean. It can feel unusual, scary, weird or just different. Sometimes we don't have words to describe these feelings we have and it can be easier to draw them and where you might feel them in your body'.

• Another approach is to say something like, 'when I feel quiet sometimes I like someone to sit next to me, would it be ok for me to sit next to you while you draw?'

• There may be opportunities to begin a conversation about their drawing, or ask if there is something they would like to draw that shows you how they are feeling or how their day was. For example, 'sometimes things can happen in our day that we can't put into words, would you like to draw me a picture of something may have confused, worried, or upset you recently?'

Sometimes a child or young person may feel more comfortable talking to a trusted adult that is not their parent or caregiver. Explore if there is another trusted adult that they would like to talk to, for example another family member, counsellor, or support staff at school.

If a child or young person tells you that they or someone they know is experiencing child sexual abuse, it is natural to feel a range of emotions and concern. A compassionate and supportive response from the adults around the child and young person can play a significant role in identifying and stopping the abuse and positively influence their recovery and healing.

It can take a lot of courage for a child or young person to share their experience of sexual abuse. Every disclosure will be different. Keep in mind that:

• Often the abuse is not a single event, it may occur on multiple occasions over a long period of time.

• Disclosures from children are often non-verbal, and can be behavioural.

• A child and young person may disclose to a friend or online (e.g. social media).

• A disclosure can be unintentional and in the context of general day-to-day activities.

• It may sound incomplete or disjointed.

• Certain events, environments, interactions, smells, situations etc. (at times called triggers) may prompt a disclosure. These can include other traumatic events, unexpected contact with perpetrator, media reporting, and respectful relationships classes at school.

It is important not to assume that a child or young person is not distressed because they do not act in a way you might believe someone should behave after experiencing abuse.

It can take a lot of courage for a child or young person to share their experience of abuse. While every disclosure will be different, and there is no one way to respond, these are some key steps you can take to provide a supportive and caring response.

• Listen carefully without interruption or judgement.

• Be yourself, while mindful of your own emotional reactions; where possible use a tone of voice and facial expressions that convey a sense of calm and safety.

• Tell them you believe them and they are not responsible or to blame, even if you feel their story is incomplete or doesn’t make sense to you in the moment.

• Explain that they deserve to be safe and that you will do everything you can to keep them safe; avoid making any promises that you cannot keep.

• Try not to ask too many questions. Avoid asking direct or leading questions; use open-ended questions, for example ‘tell me more about that’.

• Tell them that they have done the right thing by telling you.

• Explore what would help them to feel safe and supported.

• Set the expectation that in order to keep them safe you will need to talk to other adults and professionals about what has happened and what to do next, but you will be there to support them throughout.

• Let them know that you are always available to continue talking about the topic and they can ask questions about what will happen next.

This video by the Sexual Assault Family Violence Centre highlights ways parents and carers can support their child after a disclosure of child sexual abuse.

A perpetrator may create child sexual abuse materials. This is any imagery or video that depicts or describes a child, or a representation of a child, who is or appears to be under the age of 18, and who is or appears to be in a sexual post or sexual activity, or shows or describes the person's sexual organs or breasts as a dominant characteristic.[1]

If you or the child or young person know or suspects that there are images or recordings of the abuse, this can add additional layers of concern. The lack of control over the ongoing sharing of their abuse images/videos and the public accessibility of those materials can be a difficult aspect of abuse to overcome.

The eSafety Commissioner can direct an online or electronic service or platform to remove the content. They work with Victoria Police and the global INHOPE network to remove child sexual abuse material wherever it is hosted.

For more information – eSafety Commissioner Child sexual abuse online

[1] Hakansson, E., Tucci, J., Mitchell, J, Hear us now, act now, (2024), Australian Childhood Foundation.

Any form of child sexual abuse is illegal.

As a parent or caregiver, if you know or have a reasonable belief that a child and young person has experienced grooming or child sexual abuse or is at risk of abuse, you can contact Victoria Police.

If you are not comfortable contacting police or have concerns or suspicions that you would like to discuss with another professional before contacting police, you can contact the Victorian Government's Child Protection Crisis Line or your local specialist sexual assault service for advice on what steps to take next.

Do not confront the perpetrator or discuss with them what the child or adolescent said.

Victoria Police

If you or a child and young person are in immediate danger, call Triple Zero (000).

To report child sexual abuse to police you contact them in three ways:

• Call your local Sexual Offences and Child Abuse Investigations Team (SOCIT)

• Calling or visiting your local police station.

• Call Triple Zero (000)

For more information – Reporting sexual offences and child abuse

Victorian Government Child Protection Crisis Line

Call 131 278 (24 hours, 7 days a week)

To make a report to child protection a person needs to have formed a reasonable belief that a child has suffered or is likely to suffer significant harm as a result of abuse or neglect, and that their parent or caregiver has not protected or is unlikely to protect the child from harm.

For more information visit - Victorian Government Reporting Child Abuse 

What will happen after reporting child sexual abuse?

After reporting to Victoria Police, the investigation process is likely to take time. The investigation will be led by a Detective who will be the main point of contact. They will ask you how you would like to be kept informed throughout the investigation and be available for any questions you may have.

As part of this investigation process, the child and young person may be required to:

• Record a statement recalling what happened in as much detail as possible.

• Depending on the time frame of the abuse, the child and young person may be asked to undergo a forensic medical examination. The child or young person will be given the choice on whether they would like to do this and their parent or caregiver must give consent.

Police may also:

• Collect evidence, for example mobile phone, computer, clothing.

• Take statements from people who may have witnessed the abuse or can provide information.

Not all investigations will proceed to court. This does not mean that the police do not believe that the child and young person experienced child sexual abuse, but that they do not have enough evidence required for criminal prosecution.

If the matter proceeds to court, a detective or prosecutor will talk to the parent or caregiver about the process and support them throughout. There are services available to the child and adolescent and their family to assist and support at court, such as the Office of Public Prosecution’s Child Witness Assistance Service.

For more information on the process of reporting child sexual abuse to Victoria Police. 

Parents and caregivers have a significant role in assisting a child and young person to move forward following child sexual abuse. Child sexual abuse can not only impact the child and young person directly involved, but also on their families, friends and the wider community.

While impacts of the abuse can vary between individuals, most parents and caregivers can benefit from emotional and/or practical support to cope with their experience while supporting a child and young person who has been impacted by child sexual abuse.

In Victoria, specialist sexual assault services work with children and their families after child sexual abuse to help them make sense of what happened to them, make decisions about what to do next and aid recovery in a safe and supportive environment. Specialist sexual assault counsellor advocates can provide free and confidential therapeutic support while also providing information that can inform decision-making and navigating potential legal processes.

How to access a Specialist Sexual Assault Service

Call the Sexual Assault Crisis line on 1800 806 292
This number operates after office hours, on weekends and public holidays, providing free, confidential counselling and crisis support. During office hours the number will divert to your local specialist sexual assault services, which you can find now by following the link below:

Find a specialist sexual assault service

There are specialist services in every part of Victoria that can support children and young people, and their families who have been impacted by child sexual abuse. They also provide support to adults who have experienced histroic child sexual abuse.

You can self-refer a child, young person or adult to a specialist sexual assault service no matter how long ago the sexual abuse occurred.